Police Man - writeen 4-19-99 (at 16)

moments
a clock measures the moments
and each one i could hate,
but remember it later and fall
in love with it
each second the clock measures
holds its own colors, smells, textures,
temperature, sounds
that all make up a moment
the clock - the police man
constantly warning, beating
you over the head with its message
I ignore
The moment is passing.
I close my eyes.
This moment never will be again.
I take one last sniff of your
blue sweater
before the second hand kicks me
out the door.
Never will be again.
Moments.

Cold Out 10/26/09

This must be a second coming
you must be the one
won't you take my number?
i'll sing you a song
we can go on our way

i've been braiding a
crown of thorns
just waiting for someone like you
now it's time you tried on
the apparel i've constructed you

i can't even keep up
with the things that need
to be done in a day
i'm afraid i'm exhausted
by just waking up
nevermind
finding
a role to play

i'm sure there's a way
i don't have the will
to try to find something real
if it wasn't so cold out
maybe i'd join you
and maybe you'd see how i feel

Untitled - Written 2/22/97 (at 14)

the color of rain
is so much like
this life -
a book i never
finished reading
because the wind
kept turning pages,
closing it shut

now i know
your voice will surface
once a day or so
and i'll let sickening
sounds seep into my skin
absorb you
again
while you close
your eyes to me

the color of pain
is the shade of my eyes
(lately)
an undying ache,
eternal agony
keeps me awake
i want to die
for my sake

Untitled 10/29/09

I'm the luckiest girl
who makes the most mistakes
There's someone picking up the pieces
Everytime my heart breaks
Didn't you see it coming
Down the hall
in the air
Didn't you see the truth on my face
When I spat in yours and screamed
I DON'T CARE

You could give me a chance
and give up your name
walk down the block
you'll still feel the same
it's not a path
it's just a hallway
where you thought you were going
brought you back to yesterday

I got dealt a hand
I didn't know how to play
If you remembered playing yours
then we could both be on our way
This isn't my choice
This is just another day
Another way to pass the time
Another time to make your way

I guess you could say
I'm a little bit damaged
And that I'm a bit confused
I'm a little bit of a lot of things
the least of which is amused

Truth Kills - written 1/27/97 (at 14)

Exhaustion
stubborn limbs
lying in
without a sin
taking out
what i wanted to win
leaving everywhere
i've been

without a thought
or even a mind
i blocked the wind
i blocked your kind
i took off all the
feelings scarring me
slipped out of a
familiar suit
wanted everything
to be
the way it was
without the truth

Untitled 11/10/09

We don't have to talk to know that
You're going this way
And I'm going that way
No it doesn't take much to show
A subtle yawn
Another day

It's been warmer
than the coldest day of the year
I guess that much is true
But that's no reason
to keep living in fear
bracing for another you

The layers of skin fold around you
Protecting you from the air
But don't stop breathing it in
That's your second skin
Still taking care
of you

Living Alone - 10/4/09

envelopes of emptiness
i'm sending you a letter
i'm counting down the days to my
return to sender
i'll be hiding in my home
shades drawn, ears perked
and there's nothing you can say
to make me take the garbage out
i'm living alone
so i don't confuse
wants with needs
requests with pleas
me with you
and i'll put up my pictures
where i damn well please
i wish you all the best