6/6/10

Today's your birthday
and I wonder if
you felt like me
you used to say
you were born on Doom's Day
did you always feel a little incomplete?

did you feel like you shouldn't have
been born at all?

like no matter what you did
would never be enough
to make you belong?

you were the only one
i thought could possibly understand how I felt
and then I stood
alone and scared
as I watched you
retreat
withdraw
surrender

no explanation would ever
be good enough
for me to understand

because I loved and admired you
big brother

and then you tripped
slipped
off a slippery cliff
I stood shocked -
staring from the precipice
my footing wobbled
I gasped for air
not a clue
what i could possibly do
for me
or
for you

but somehow you survived the crash
all limbs intact
it's been a long, steep climb
from up a deep ravine
it hurt to watch you struggle
I almost wished it could be me

you fought your way
back up to the top
and here you stand
on firm ground
your chest out proud

you are a rare man
who knows the darkness beneath your soul
and how to find your way back

all this time
i spent
racking my brain
dreaming up ways
to help you with your climb

and the thing i never realized
you needed me
just to be
standing, holding your place
so you could see me
and find your way
back to your family