5/24/10

It's just me again
finding my way
in my own body
I thought it was a desert
and I was dying
of thirst
but now i know
it's the Caribbean Sea
that's inside of me

pure blue water flows through my veins
my bones are fine white sand
My heart used to be
my own worst enemy
a sea anemone
and I had claws for hands

but now my heart's a starfish
sunbathing on a rock
and what used to be my clenched fist
is opening to God

maybe i believed
the tale that i had spun
a fish out of water
frying in the sun
doomed to an eternity
of gasping "marco"
to no reply
yanked from one world
to another
just to die

but then there was a river
and then it was a lake
and then it flooded over
and i realized my mistake

i've been floating in the waters
of my very own sea
coarsing through my veins
the true version of me

Untitled - 5/9/10

When is a house not a home?
When will your archive be complete?
Is this a snapshot
or a memoir...
How do you know
you're not obsolete?

have you been here
gripping your bowels
gritting your teeth
all you need to do is
stop

let gravity do
what you've been trying to defy
the fear the grips
and clenches you
does nothing to help you survive

it's easy to pretend
that it was watching over you
it felt like a close friend -
one it's time that you outgrew

nobody has the right
to dominate you
ignore your best intentions
tell you what to do

it's time to say goodbye
even close friends move away
or sometimes just move on
when there's no need to stay

Untitled - 5/18/10

I got wrapped up
in another insanity
another man's plan
but once again,
I found me

I am mine
and mine alone
not a child
or a waitress
or a shiny toy you own

I have organs,
tissues
and bones
I come from the water
and I never walk alone

I'm a heat
from my belly
I won't be overthrown
You've been trying
to tempt me
I'm not your dog
or a bone

I'm a daughter
and a sister
with a purpose
and a place
My ancestors were Vikings
see the scars on my face?

I've had visions of my Future
and it sparkles like the sun
you're a mere mortal
and my journey's just begun

I'm the mother of a world
you won't even see in dreams
I'm pregnant with a fate
that's hard to be believed

and you are just one step
on my path from here to there
so don't forget your role
and I won't forget to share

Untitled 12/14/09

I'm tired of feeling tortured
and feeling alone
the pathways to my brain
are sensations I can own
and redirect
or intercept
until they find another home
but I can't keep giving solace
to thoughts I can't condone

All Out - written 12/7/09

Just go all out
balls out
before you go

Let them be the ones
to tell you no

The Trip Home 11/26/09

Is that all I am to you?
Something to react against?
Someone to stand up to
And exercise your self defense?

I'm looking forward
to the time it takes to get somewhere
I'll be there tomorrow
to give you the time it takes to prepare

I'm a long way from home
Living alone
Way out on the other side
of the country
the moon
the day
and you
It's the best place I've found to hide

I'm not excited but I'm not scared
of the trip I'm about to take
I'm not running but I'm not hiding
And I can't say I've made a mistake

Living Alone - 10/4/09

envelopes of emptiness
i'm sending you a letter
i'm counting down the days to my
return to sender
i'll be hiding in my home
shades drawn, ears perked
and there's nothing you can say
to make me take the garbage out
i'm living alone
so i don't confuse
wants with needs
requests with pleas
me with you
and i'll put up my pictures
where i damn well please
i wish you all the best