Repetition of a Dream

Here's a poem from a book of poems I wrote in junior high called "Repetition of a Dream"
Repetition of a Dream

I swim through a pool of deceit
And sleep in a bed of regret
The ground I walk on withers my feet
Before they have a chance to get wet

I stand on concrete mixed with falsehood
And run on asphalt based on a taunt
If you had the chance to do what you should,
Would you ignore it to do what you want?

I wish on stars that will soon decay
I've wished on stars that were long dead
Everything I have to say
Has somehow already been said

The line "The ground I walk on withers my feet/Before they have a chance to get wet" just kills me. It's just so sad to me now to think of a girl coming of age, who hasn't gotten her feet wet yet and they're already withered. To me, this poem refers to the idea that in an alcoholic family, nothing is as it seems. It's like a house of mirrors. The concrete - the most solid, safe substance for humans is mixed with falsehood in the poem. And the asphalt, another substance strong enough to support our weight is based on a taunt. It's like everywhere I tried to go and stand on as a person couldn't support me, or couldn't be trusted. And then at the end of the poem I just seem resigned. I don't know if I'll ever be able to read these old poems of mine without feeling this sadness.