Needs

Great post from yesterday on the I'm Just F.I.N.E. blog about needs and how as children of alcoholics, we didn't get what we needed on some level. Whether or not we were physically or sexually abused, or neglected, our emotional needs were not met. It's not possible for an addict to meet the emotional needs of his or her children.

What was confusing to me about my family was that until high school, my parents were married and my dad was a successful officer in the Air Force. He was around - we had a big house with a pool and everything seemed so picture perfect. But he was not present. He was there, but not present. He always found odd jobs to do around the house and in the yard so that when he was home, he was always "busy." Either that or he was "relaxing" on the couch drinking and we weren't to bother him either way.

So, we learn to be comfortable not getting our needs met. Not that it's ever really comfortable, but we learn to deal with it in some way. And not getting your needs met isn't healthy, so how can dealing with it be?

Asking for What I Need
from I'm Just F.I.N.E.